thick

silent disdain slides from slick tongues

boys crafting insults they never needed to hurl

for i was already practiced in the

art of hating my body, always being

too much to have and to hold on

to; i searched for a knife that was good

for carving mangoes and skin

to slice the strength from my bones

carve the smooth from my curves

to be skinny like the skinny girls

seducing hungry eyes of the boys i grew up with

delicate, a flower, like my mother, my sister

but with each year my body betrayed me

my hips grew wider, my thighs more full

of earth & flesh, & i began to wonder

if God made me big so that my body

could bear my existence and

my frame contain my power

a crafted vessel of clay & pride

these hills & valleys were never made from dust

i am a mountain range covered in

stone & fire & earthquake

i am not too full of flavor to be delicate

i can always carry you

that does not mean i will

for the weight i carry must be worthy

of stone & fire & earthquake

We are endless

Young ocean interlocked her foamy fingers with another
Her rough, clam-shell eyes scanned the dark expanse of her comrade
The sea kills so much, births so much, devours so much that perhaps
She may forget how endless, untameable and hungry that she is
But to see another ocean is to see the truth
And the side of her mouth crashed and grinned a
Tsunami as she sighed from her depths and remembered
"I am vast and we are endless"

A tribute

thank you for telling me everything was my fault
'cause that fault-line crack in my confidence
has become one of my favorites.
a favorite fissure filled with gold
like Japanese pots and Van Gogh paintings of sunflowers

and thank you for taking what I gave ungratefully,
your great greed rive guidance to my dreams.
dreams overwhelmed with your absence,
with furious flames of affection, with toothy grins
and thank you's, so many thank you's

speaking of which, thank your for wresting from
my trembling fingers what I was unwilling to give.
your teeth drawing colorful scarves from between my teeth
of stifled cries, caressing fingers fitful nights, and gagging humiliation

and in case I forget, thank you for pretending you escaped unscathed
from between my claws and from between my legs.
my thick, muscular tentacles relinquishing you readily
into your ravenous hunt for fresh meat to bury
your loneliness in

case you forget, thank you for not being unscathed.
for being your own prophecy told and retold
om miserable, unwilling whispers of how
none of us sirens were notches in anything but your bones
and when your closet vomits out your skeleton
you can't hide from us anymore

At least I learned to acknowledge my broken femurs
and slicing, broken-glass-edge defense mechanisms.
I learned it from wanting to antithesis myself of you.
so thank you for being yourself, for being mean,
for being blind, for being insecure and shattered

Here's to you. may this tribute be like mouthwash,
cleansing and burning and forcing you to
shut the fuck up
even if it's only for 45 seconds or so