when i told him i was on my
period he fed me a tired line
about how "he could never
be disgusted by something
so natural..."
we had sex that night
and i felt so cared-for,
so amazed at this man
for not hating me for
finding me desirable
in spite of the things
that make me what i am
woman
animal
mother
& blood...
as it the wordless histories
of my ancestors spilled upon
bodies & beds & floors & fields
didn't plant the seeds of the
most ancient trees and most
powerful men
oh how i wish i could go back
a few short years and teach that
more afraid version of myself
that even though i was breaking apart
& drifting down the river of my own pain
that i did not have to
nor should i
accept trite & disingenuous offerings
from men who believed themselves
to be kind and worthy of my body
& time
who believed that saw the real me
who believed they could tame my wild spirit
but since i cannot go back and tell her
i shall tell you, my reader, the truth
do not thank man for not being
disgusted by you
for never making your feel small or unsafe
if their eyes are full of questions
and anticipation of your wonder
pick up your purse, your clothes,
your vulnerability and
walk out the door
for if a man feels you should
expect so little of him
imagine how little he
expects from himself
12.2.17
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