to sister prophetess

my roving heart
found a home in your words
yet i cannot summon
the right words to
thank you

you are
woman
powerful
black
prophetess
strong
beautiful
kind

yours was the first voice
to call me powerful
to teach me that
power & shame
are not dishes
mean to be served
together

you prophesied over
my fluttering, fearful
soul
you spoke my future
self to life that day
she did not learn to speak
for many years
but you taught my heart
to unleash it's rumble
and now
i am an earthquake

you are my
Prometheus

i didn't know
i needed to be
ignited
until you showed me
what freedom
and fire
and love
and power
all looked like
when you don't
apologize for them

may Abba bless you
may you feel my gratitude
in your spirit
thank you sister prophetess
thank you for seeing me
and for telling me
the truth

1.10.18 / 3.15.18

cultural appropriation

I've often wondered

if I was born in

the wrong skin

or

the wrong time

or

the wrong place

questions of belonging

perennial, always

blooming

inside my

heart

I have been given

so much

gifts

blessing

opportunity

but the questions

grew louder each year

each season

growing new roaming-

ivy roots

wrapping around me

then one day

I left my home

for my first

great adventure

the first

step

on my path

to finding

a home

within

myself

1.10.18

learning to love without one foot out the door

is like
tricking yourself out of
an airplane
parachute in place
skydiving
you ask yourself
why you're trying to
take mankind to heights
for which we were
not given wings
why fly when you
were built to stay
on the ground

is like
rolling your eyes
at the story of
Icarus, like...
"Come on, man!
You should've known!"

and yet...
the sky keeps calling me
promising me nothing
more than sunrises
and sunsets and
probably some rain,
but oh
the colors and
breezes and the
breath of God

the ground will
never feel the same

1.9.18

For Auston

w*man

woman
you're like nothing
i've ever seen!
what a blessing!

bless all that you are
bless all that you have been
bless all that you will be

intellect
life
nuance
beauty
blood
hunger
love
suffering
victory
vigor
distinction
questions
answers
universe
home

we rise above
we forgive
we fall and fail
we ask and demand
we smolder and smoke
but we no longer
stutter when
we tell the world
do give us our due

it all may
be built on our roots
but it is now
time for us
to blossom


International Women's Day 2018

unapology: a feminist manifesto

he says:

"doubt yourself. be smaller.

i don't recall giving you permission

to take up this much space.

our God is comprehensible.

we may not know everything

but we know enough to say

that he is a man

and that you are

wrong

disrespectful

a disgrace

need to be rebuked

for daring to believe

he could be she.

we accept that what you make

is beautiful

as long as it doesn't

shake up our world.

use your gift to move us

as long as we get to

stay in the same place.

it is true that woman is

a good gift.

distinct from us.

made to make a partner.

not whole on her own.

diminishable when necessary.

soft.

strong, but only in the way

a woman should be."

i say:

"i'm sorry if my power

offends you

but someday

i will stop being sorry

for the things i

was taught to be.

the world

my parents

pastors & teachers

handed me shame

wrapped in the best

of intentions & said

'this oughtta do the trick'

as if they saw

the fists of my tiny

Muhammad Ali heart

and hoped i'd never

find my way to the ring

because "good women" don't fight

and "godly" ones don't argue

i've been praised for laying down & understanding

"my role"

men have bragged to my father

about how i just "get it"

they say:

"some other, unruly

and autonomous girls

care more about their

misguided feminism

than biblical truth

but not Susanna

she is perfectly articulate

about her role

a woman's place

what her strength should look like

& why she needs men..."

i say:

"well, sorry dad

i'm supposed to be sorry right?

i was wrong before

lost, confused

hating myself for

being loud

& having a belly

full of fire

for wanting

to take care of myself

for not being afraid to be

alone

for loving life

and learning to

treasure my mess

for learning to

stop saying sorry

so enjoy the sorrys

before they run out

because someday the

sorry factory in my throat

is going to be shut down

& shame, guilt, & fear

will all be out of a job

they will be doomed to living

like ghosts

immaterial

desperate

homeless"

freedom says:

"only apologize

when you're wrong

don't be sorry for

not being sorry

no one gets to ask

you for that

anymore."

2.7.18

mirror mirror

good morning reflection
good morning eyes and nose
skin and freckles

good morning lips and shoulders
good morning body, self, and spirit

my dream
is that one day
I will have blessed you
more that I have cursed you

I sit here at the crossroads
and for my survival
I will choose to walk
the difficult road
of learning to love myself
and bless my reflection every morning

2/21/18

no asterisk

when they

ask you to risk

everything

to be exactly

who you are

say yes

you will never

be sorry

3.1.18