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I reminisce:

I ask myself, "What would we talk about otherwise?"

My hot tears mingle with those from the shower head

If I denied him, would he withdraw placidly?

Realization follows more tears, "It's all we've ever talked about."

His scent clings to my skin, I can't wash him off

My lipstick was sticking to his teeth, I dabbed warm

Water on my smooth mouth, half-done he laughed,

"Good enough," from behind me, gripping my hips

He tossed me onto the bed, I like it a little rough with him

Because then, at least I feel his ferocious eyes on me

I'm alive, aren't I?

He's liked my ass since I was 15, I, his tiny conquest

Impressively remained elusive for 7 years, damn!

The defenses I built for his honor to protect him

From my scrutiny and good ideas, are irreparably

Squallored and tailored to tumble eventually

I tell him:

Honey, you're a lingering virus and you've finally

Run your course, by which I mean

I'm done running my fingers through your hair

And your tiny raccoon fist has released my

Shiny heart, in my vermin-trap rib cage.

You never wanted to inhabit my lungs,

But there were days

When my deepest exhales were your name.

Its syllables dripping

Longingly from my tongue, you taste of bourbon and coffee

You wanted a place more cavernous than my lungs

You chose my body's first defense

Once you permeated my presence, my hungry flesh

You became unobservant

Every gate but my legs remains closed to you

4.15.16