Well, we crossed the road to opposite sides
From him wanting me, me relishing the power
To him wanting me and having me wrapped 'round his little finger
I've learned a lot about probability, you know
There's a direct correlation between most things
The tighter my clothes, the likelier he'll be free later
The more weed he smokes, the more quickly he'll fall asleep after
The more often he holds me on his couch, the more tangled I become
Another newly familiar subject is statistics
When he's inside me he brings the bodies and hearts of
Dozens of other women, putting them inside me too
Does their pain have a right to me if I'm asking for it?
"Asking for it" makes me a statistic too, a notch
A notch in the belt around that trim waist
Probability again, how likely am I to keep coming back?
Statistics: Well, you've said yes now, even when he doesn't ask
Probability: You know how badly you want him
Statistics: Unless I'm missing something you're 100%
Probable to run to him whenever he hints because
Statistically you don't demand, you don't ask for much
Probably because your body is your wall
To those whom much is given much is required
But that's not how it works with men, I mean
Mankind, or is it man-unkind, I forget?
Someone once said the body sheds its skin
For a whole new one every seven years, statistically
I, like a slow snake, will have a body untouched by greedy hands, probably
But what's the number for a defiled soul?
What's the probability the stone glaze over
My deep, hungry eyes will go away?
I'm inside-out Medusa, my chilling gaze renders him statue and irrelevant
I'm backwards Midas, when he touches me I see him as cold, bloodless metal
But fire can char any stone, melt the frigidest golden face and body
I've never been good at math, but my brain is a friend of patterns
And statistics are like familiar ruts in the cowardly ground
Probability, my mud-stained feet surrendering to well-worn paths
You probably don't understand, but statistically rain comes
Around before miry mud pits and I'm tired of
Letting math be unworthy hands and presumptuous lips
I've decided to become a mudslide of unpredictability
I hope the world pulls out its sled and enjoys the roller-coaster
Tosses and turns of my breaking heart and the
Healing soil
4.14.16
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