whenever you're around
i feel as if your arms
could stretch around the
globe of our lives
and hold fast
you look like Atlas
spinning my world on
your nimble fingers
but when i step away
and let my toes turn
back into roots
you shrink with
distance and perspective
still as beautiful
and haunting as ever
my mind proves fertile
soil for unanswerable
questions
like
am i making myself small
for you
'cause i promised myself i'd
never do that
just because my enclosure
in your heart is spacious
doesn't mean loving you
isn't a cage
it took me too many years
to learn how to unfurl
my wings
for me to lean into a love
that has room for only
fractions of my fierceness
or only portions of my
potions and magic spells
i've been raised to believe
saying "no" makes me selfish
and i must give
you a chance
at any cost
that loving you is
the only signature i need
signed in my own blood
upon the dotted line
of your "forever" and
"for better or worse"
i pride myself, perhaps too much,
on being untamable
but maybe i am tamable
and simply unwilling to
shrink to
the smaller traps
or unprepared knights
who like the idea of me
must i always push you aside
must i give you a lesson in
why i'm too much for you
and why i can't seem to
let you clasp your hand
securely into mine
12/27/17
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