your table

feed me
I'm always hungry
give me tiny tastes of your cornucopious self
I get drunk on your large amount of
"earnest" and "weird"
your "smart" is my favorite spice so far,
it burns my lips
your "affectionate" reminds me of authentic chai
made with cardamom and "tender"
your "volatile" and "sturdy" nourish my bones
like sautéed collards and chicken
some days you serve dessert first
with your "twinkling" and "dark-eyed"
serving hot chocolate with chili powder
your "exotic" has a tendency
to dribble down my chin and we laugh
darling, I love that I can never have enough of you
there is certainly plenty of your perfect to go around
but never doubt that I'm starving
may my hunger never take more than
you offer but rather
inspire you to give freely
never fearing I will tire of you
becoming full, and leaving your table

you come to my well to nourish yourself
you lament that the rope burns your hands
you complain that the pulley squeaks
but you continue drinking
you continue taking, all the same

I tell you to toss in a coin and make a wish
because I'm full of magic
but you say what my well has to offer
isn't worth a penny or a dime
or even an ounce of your time

and I sigh
when will I learn to deny you
stolen noursihment
from the very first drop?

I sure felt the fall

muscles, once sturdy, are aching now
the lines defining their strength
I used to lift myself from the earth
gingerly

life-laden

sometimes carrying just yourself
proves to be too much
but don't be surprised
it's not as if something
that glorious
could be anything less
Than weighty

I don't go to haunted houses
because people are already so full of ghosts
they splatter love with their blood
their screams hiding 'round corners
to startle me into evasive action

You didn't know it
but i was holding you hostage
twirling fingers
twisting ropes above your head
the profundity in my eyes
telling you lies
about what belonged to you

You better be grateful
And stop pretending you
Understand
I will not hold myself responsible For the bruises you get
When you trip over my boundaries
Because you're busy coming down
From a trip, high on my excellence
Hungry for my love
If a taste of me
Only makes you wish you had
Everything
Then what you get
Is nothing.

Ponderings sitting in a cathedral built from the stones of a pagan temple

Warming my hands over
the flames incited
As prayers of pardon
for those who are condemned
I steal moments from their eternity
unabashed, I will live forever
sin vergüenza, unlike them

Crossing myself

My head, my hands, and both of my arms
I dedicate you
May I never falter
May my feet never carry me
where my arms cannot reach to serve you
May my heart never drift away on the deadly
tears of bitterness
carrying me far from your side
May my mind never run so quickly
that it tears itself in two, spilling
all my thoughts and hurricanes
into your palm
I dedicate to you
all things I can touch
And offer to you deep, unreachable things

For Michael

I saw your eyes
those brown eyes
the first, and perhaps
the only ones I've ever loved
my heart leapt into
the ceiling of my ribcage
with a bird-flutter heartbeat
I didn't know could happen
anymore

you led her in by the hand
the woman you love
and all I felt was a sunset-gold
smile creeping across my chest

you and I were so young, so foolish
cliche summer love, late-night kisses
the first boy I broke for
you were so kind, so blind
you taught me my heart had wings
and that flying takes practice

she seems lovely, you know
the woman you chose
I hope she matches you,
fits you and fills you
the way my 16-year-old heart
wanted to
I suppose what I'm trying
to say is
thank you
for being the one that got away
who is worthy of a
poem like this